SEPTIC

What resides within you can sometimes give you a good scare. Its not a particularly nice feeling to be aware of the fact that you do have an ulterior motive. You are guided by a force that relentlessly drives you to act in a way in spite of yourself. You've been bothered enough with whats right and whats not...whats ethical and whats unethical."Thank you very much but I've already been introduced to the innumerable lines not meant to be crossed".

Throughout you've been forced to behave in a particular or "acceptable" way.
1. Family accepts you( no need to rejoice when they always seem to forgive you...they have forgiven themselves for passing over their genes) but you have to pay a price. And a heavy one. Always do what they tell you to. They say its a "fair" deal.
2. Peers bring out multiple personalities in you. You pretend to like the kind of music they enjoy. You sometimes wonder if there are invisible hands grabbing your neck from behind and forcing you to perform a ridiculous act of "headbanging". Completely out of sync, tempo,tune, whatever. You become the "every second guy" who dons a Che Guevara t-shirt. Its nothing but a feeling of quasi esprit de corps.
3. Your girl cant help but accede to the assumption that you are Java man. Her sole duty is to transform you to Homo erectus.
4. And its a lifelong endeavour for your better half to make the bitter butter(you) better.

"Give me a break."

The tapestry of pure selfish thoughts that are sometimes magically woven in some corner of your head are nothing but saviours of your sanity. Why should you be ashamed to pray for yourselves? Arent there reasons enough to justify the thoughts of pride, envy, wrath, greed or lust that intermittently keep cropping? Why do you try to dodge, duck, flee, run, do everything but face them? Or more importantly accept them, not as cardinal sins but certain facets that make you, you.

After all, you deserve a break.